switching roles

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As a kid, you’re used to being parented. Being told what to do, being cared for, and being constantly worried about is what parents do. But what happens when the roles switch and now you are the caregiver? This has happened to me just recently with my mom undergoing an incredibly challenging surgery last month and I now have 10 fold more respect for the adult children caring either emotionally or physically for their parents

A few months ago, my mom decided to undergo major surgery to correct her scoliosis which basically kept her in constant pain every hour of everyday. She figured the only way to regain a normal life free from pain was to have a spinal fusion surgery. This surgery entailed about 7 hours under the knife along with months upon months of physical therapy and recovery.

When your parents go through something this major, at least for me, I like to downplay the situation. For my own sanity, I tell myself that it’s not a big deal and she’s going to be just fine. Because how could anyone function without their parents, it just seems like an improbability because they are too important NOT to have around.

So when she came out of surgery and everything wasn’t “Just Fine” shit got real and I got scared. The surgery itself went fine, but the recovery has been an outright bitch. Along with not wanting to eat, she doesn’t want to get up and do her exercises, and is just being completely out of it. No one likes to see their parents like this, because they are supposed to be super human and they aren’t supposed to be hurt or sad.

So what do you do when you become the parent, expressing sadness, hurt, and anxiety that they are not doing what they are supposed to do? Fuck if I know… All I know is that I called her and tried to have a come to Jesus moment with her. I expressed my sadness and want for her to get the fuck home. I told her that I miss her, my daughter misses her, and that we can’t function without her. I have no idea if this resonated with her, only time will tell. I do know is that I want my mom home so that I can have my best friend back.

Time will tell when I can have my confidant back… The only person I know that makes dick jokes and loves me unconditionally.

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